Tom Petty...REALLY?!

Like most of you, I watched the Super Bowl on Sunday night and was subjected to half time as usual. Last year, I was excited to see Prince because let's face it - he's the sexiest midget in high heels you will ever see, but apparently the FCC didn't want a recap of the "behind the curtain guitar-phallus-hump" of yesteryear. So, who did they decide should pump up America and get us ready for a remarkable second half of the biggest game of the year? Who, you ask?????? Tom Petty. Big FREAKIN' Whoop.

Now, don't me wrong. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers did a great job of "Runnin' Down a Dream" 10 years ago, but does America's football demographic of 30-somethings really need him and his band pumping us up in 2008? Has he even had a hit since "Last Dance With Mary Jane?" What the hell has he been doing the past 10 years? We might as well have been watching Cheap Trick!

Thank you Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake for Nipplegate and ruining the most enjoyable part of football I wait to see all year! PLEASE get more contemporary artists next year! I'm begging you! Paula Abdul does NOT count!

And, while we're on the subject of the Super Bowl - what's up with the terribly un-funny commercials? I mean, most of us wives only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials anyway and this year I feel that they have really stripped away all that is good about football from us! Ugh...utterly disappointed.

Ok, I'm off my soap box now. I have to go get ready for school tomorrow! However, if any of you agree with me, feel free to leave a comment. If you don't agree - too bad! :-)

Awwwww yeah!

The day has finally arrived! This past Saturday, Corey and I got up at the ass crack of dawn to drive down to Atlanta to pick up my new 2006 Orange Honda Element EX-P! It took us 3 hours to get there and I'm really surprised my poor old '94 Nissan Altima with 132,000 miles on it didn't just completely blow up on the interstate on the way there!

We got an excellent deal on it and I would highly recommend Curry Honda for all your Honda needs :-) Our sales rep. was really nice and helpful and we could tell that he wasn't just trying to move another unit off his lot. He really did have our best interest at heart! Thanks Matt!!!

Anyway, here's the highly anticipated photos of Tang (short for Tangerine.) Corey says she's from the planet Poon, which you will only understand if you listen to the Bob & Tom show in the mornings.

I can tell ya'll have been hitting up my blog like crazy from the counter! FINALLY the pictures are here (Clarissa!!!) Enjoy and leave a nice message!

UPDATE: Apparently, Blogger no longer supports slideshows using "Shockwave" so you will have to follow THIS link to see the show.

OK Lelan - show us what you're made of...

...WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IN EFFECT FROM 4 AM TO 12 PM CST TUESDAY...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN NASHVILLE HAS ISSUED A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY, WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 4 AM TO 12 PM CST TUESDAY.

A COLD FRONT APPROACHING MIDDLE TENNESSEE FROM THE WEST WILL SPREAD PRECIPITATION ACROSS THE AREA LATE TONIGHT AND TOMORROW MORNING. WITH TEMPERATURES EXPECTED TO DROP BELOW FREEZING IN ADVANCE OF THE FRONT, PRECIPITATION WILL BEGIN AS A MIXTURE OF SNOW, SLEET, AND FREEZING RAIN. AS TEMPERATURES SLOWLY WARM THROUGHOUT THE MORNING, THE PRECIPITATION WILL CHANGE TO ALL RAIN. SNOW AND ICE ACCUMULATIONS UP TO AN INCH CAN BE EXPECTED PRIMARILY NORTH OF INTERSTATE 40. LOCATIONS GENERALLY SOUTH OF INTERSTATE 40 WILL EXPERIENCE MINOR ICE ACCUMULATIONS RESULTING FROM A MIXTURE OF RAIN AND FREEZING RAIN.

WINTRY PRECIPITATION WILL OCCUR DURING THE MORNING COMMUTE IN MANY AREAS, SO EXTRA CAUTION AND PREPARATION ARE URGED.

A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY MEANS THAT WINTRY PRECIPITATION WILL CAUSE TRAVEL DIFFICULTIES. BE PREPARED FOR SLIPPERY ROADS AND LIMITED VISIBILITIES, AND USE CAUTION WHILE DRIVING.

PLEASE SNOW!!!

Please, if you have any love for teachers - BEG for snow! PRAY for snow!

If you don't do the snow dance I will be forced to come after you!!! You don't want that!

So, do whatever it is you have to do to get it here and make it stick! Lelan better not let me down...I need a day off!

(Sorta) New Rooms!

Corey's brother and sister-in-law bought a new castle in Brentwood this past month and needed brand new bedroom furniture (of course.) So, we were lucky enough to get the perfectly fine hand-me-downs, which are still in great condition. We've been wanting to get (matching) bedroom furniture for a long time, but as we all know - we've been trying to save up for the "Buy Stephanie an Orange Honda Element" fund and haven't really been thinking too seriously about purchasing anything else substantial, so it all worked out. We took our old bedroom furniture, which was my baby furniture, and painted it black last spring. It is now residing in the guest room or as my mom calles it, "the mother-in-law suite." We also re-arranged the room to get everything to fit. Then after re-doing our bedroom and the guest room, Corey decided that we needed to give the office a face lift, too. So, we moved all of that around. I have to say, I'm really enjoying having a house that looks somewhat put together. It is clean and looks "adult." - Not in that way you pervs! Anyway, I'm not finished with our bedroom; I think I want to put those 3D star things on the wall above the bed - like THIS .

Here are the pics I took. You will need to roll your mouse over the picture to see it closer up. Let me know what you think. And hey - you people have not been commenting lately...it's like you've been busy with other stuff or something...sheesh :-)

The Olden Days

As Corey and I were going through old pictures and cleaning and re-arranging our house this past weekend, I came across this gem! This is a picture of my high school band, "Khaki's Ex." Don't ask me about the name because I have NO idea where the hell it came from! Anyway, we were quite the shiz-nit as you can imagine...



From left to right: Jon, Mark, Tommy, Me. weren't we AWESOME!!??

If you were lucky enough to be at one of our infamous concerts, please leave a comment of your memories! haha!

Santa Loves Me!

Oh goody, goody! Christmas has again come and gone. I'm quite over the festivities as I'm sure you all are! And please, be responsible and take down your damn decorations and lights sometime within the next week or two. You don't want to look like the neighborhood jackass who is too lazy to un-decorate!!!

ANYWAY...Santa was good - No, he did not bring me an Orange Honda Element, but the Tax Refund Fairy probably will. I did however receive the following items:

From Mom & Dad, and my Grandpa: Gift cards galore, a down vest, jewelry, money, a kitty motel for a stray cat that sleeps on our porch sometimes, and Bare Minerals Gold Collection makeup.

From Corey: Two earring and necklace sets (one brown, and one black), orange house shoes, 2 sweaters (one black w/ polka-dot shirt underneath and an orange cable knit sweater), the Neutrogena Healthy Skin Rejuvinator, a Dove collection of soaps, and an Oral-B rechargeable toothbrush.

From the In-Laws: Orange Crocks, Garrett's Popcorn (a Chicago MUST), gift cards to the Gap, lottery tickets, a 1 hour massage, and a Black & Decker Scum Buster.

All in all, it was a wonderful Christmas and I'm very greatful for everthing I got. Today I went to the Gap Outlet in Lebanon and spent every penny and thensome of my giftcards. I got about 8 shirts and a cute little sweat suit that is SOOOO soft and snuggly that I'm hoping we'll have another "sweats" day at school so I can wear it! I also went to Lane Bryant's Semi-Annual sale and got myself some new skivvies! Jealous, I know!

Well, we only have about a week left before it's Back to School time again. Ugh. Can't wait. At least New Year's will be fun! Who doesn't enjoy Champagne?! Bring on the New Year!!

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year's eve and a hangover free New Year's day!!

Birthday!

Hello!

Last Thursday (December 6) was my birthday! Thanks to all who wished me Happy Birthday and celebrated with me. If you are one of the few who didn't...then it SUCKS to be you! hahahahaha

Anyway, on Thursday I had a wonderful day which included getting Orange flowers delivered to my school from my parents and a scrumptious dinner at 5 Senses courtesy of Corey's parents. They drove down from Franklin to take us (ME!) out to dinner. I'm telling you, you MUST go! Very delicious! I had filet mignon and creme brulee. Quite tasty. After we ate I went and bought myself one of those fancy schmancy CHI hair straighteners and my hair loves me for it! Corey also gave me Paramore's first CD "All We Know is Falling" since I LOVE their current one, "RIOT." That is a whole 'nother blog, though. My obsession with Paramore is TOO intense for this one!

On Friday night, my closest friends Clare & Tim, Clarissa & Jason, Dusty & Phillip, and Corey and I all went to Fuji Japanese Steakhouse for hibatchi hijinx! The night was capped off by everyone coming over for cake and ice cream and a resounding game of Apples to Apples! We also had a few drinks...

On Saturday, my parents came up and took us (ME!) out to eat at Puleo's Grill and it was just as tasty as ever. When we got home, they gave me a cute little Christmas shirt with a reindeer on it (with a red nose) and some smell good shower gel and lotion (I think they might be trying to tell me something.) My parents and my grandpa also made VERY generous donations to the "Buy Stephanie an Orange Honda Element Fund." So, look out for me in March, bitches...

My parents spent the night and we had breakfast at IHOP the next morning. We also went shopping at TJ Maxx where my mom and I both scored a pair of J-41 (made by Jeep) shoes that are too cute for words for super cheap! Then, my friend Rachel called and said she had come up from Chattanooga to take me to lunch and she was at my house! So, we rushed home to see her and my parents headed home. Rachel and I went shopping on the Avenue and by shopping I mean we just went to drool on things.

We ended up working up an apetite around 4ish and so we ate at Mimi's Cafe. Again, you MUST go. The menu was huge and various! I would recommend it highly! Plus, they have chocolate mints by the door when you leave, so even if you don't go there to eat, stop in and steal yourself a handful of those bad-boys!

Oh, my friend Jennifer also got me the most beautiful teal wrap bracelet just because she loves me ever so much. Clarissa tried to find the Smyrna Starbucks in LaVergne so that she could bring me coffee, but she ended up going to McDonald's instead. That's ok, it was sure tasty! All-in-all I had a VERY good day. I will now leave you with pictures of my cake and flowers...

Tee-hee-hee...

Tidings...

Hello all, and Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone had a pleasant day with their family(s) and stuffed yourself full of the crap you only get to eat 2 times a year. We have round 2 tomorrow at my Mom & Dad's house. Anyway, that's not really the reason I wanted to blog tonight. I mean, it is, but I've been meaning to say my peace about this other topic for a while...

The topic is that gross-ass Oreo commercial where the Granny and the kid have a stuff lickin' contest. Please tell me you've seen it. Could that BE any more disgusting?! I mean, I literally gag every time I see that commercial! Nobody wants to see granny gettin' down like that unless you are one of those sick old pervs who is into that kind of shee-yawt! Nobody above the age of 40 should be lip smackin' like that in public, much less teaching YOUNGER children how to do it! I mean, you can see granny's saliva dripping off her tounge and she just has a bad case of old-lady lips that look like they've seen the inside of a donkey's pancreas! Now, there's no doubt that granny was a *good* girlfriend back in the day. I bet she had boys knocking down her door to see her lick an Oreo or two. She should NOT be teaching her grandaughter those kinds of perversions. Anyway, I firmly believe this commercial should be pulled off the air. If you have not seen the toxic-ness of which I am speaking, feast your eyes on this:

Go "Eff" yourself...

Oops! I mean "Elf" yourself!! You have GOT to click HERE to view the FUNNIEST thing I have ever seen! You are going to be AMAZED!!!

Thank you Lisa, you have truly inspired me!!

PS...make sure your speakers are on and UP!

New! New! New!

Hello all 3 of you reading!

I really have nothing to say. This weekend has been busy and filled with (LONG) weddings, Wal-Mart shopping (3 times) and running around. Apparently my car has a cracked radiator and the brakes also need to be replaced. I am still taking donations to the "Buy Stephanie an Orange Element" fund!

My friend Kristin got married yesterday. That was literally the LONGEST wedding I've ever been to; an hour and a half. YES, the ceremony was an hour and a half! That's an hour and fifteen minutes longer than my OWN wedding! We didn't stay for the reception. By the time they would have taken pictures and gotten to the reception it would have been another hour and we were starving to death!!! So, we went to Corey's parent's house and ate at the Franklin Chop House with them. YUMMY!

Today we have been to Wal-Mart twice (after going last night, too.) We bought a smaller Christmas tree this year except we accidentally got one with multi-color lights so we had to exchange it for clear ones. I HATE multi-colored lights!!!!! I think they are the tackiest thing ever. I have always been VERY particular about my trees. I only want white lights and very little to no ornaments on the tree. One year, I made my mom put just white lights and silver tinsel on it. She thought I was crazy, but I LOVED that tree!

I am also a very firm believer that your tree should have a color scheme. I am not a huge fan of homemade ornaments or the tacky ones people give you because they have to get you something for the Holidays. Ugh. I understand the sentimental stuff, but enough is enough!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I am not really in the festive holiday spirit as of late, but maybe that will change. I'm such a Bah-Hum-Bug! I always have been. My birthday, however is coming soon and I do always look forward to that! I'm sure I'll let you all know about the festivities surrounding that!

I will leave you now with my favorite South Park Christmas character - Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo...

Kitty

I Covet...

I think I'm going to start a "Help Stephanie Buy Her Orange Honda Element Fund." My poor car is dying and there's no new car future in sight.

Please, for the mere price of a cup of coffee per day, you could help a poor exhausted teacher afford a car that isn't a POS. Won't you help?

A Spook-tacular Halloween Party!

Last night, Corey and I were invited to our friend's, Clarissa and Jason's Halloween party. I was a cat and he was a devil (his usual self)! We met a lot of interesting characters such as Britney Spears, Kid Rock, Elmer Fudd, Buggs Bunny, a white trash girl (Clarissa) and her hippie husband. It was fun! They had their house all decked out with spooky decorations and spiderwebs, a fog machine, and a disco ball! Clarissa had her I-pod hooked up to speakers so the dance music could be heard all across the neighborhood! Lol! Clarissa made some fabulous "Witch's Brew," which was very potent and relaxing (if you catch my drift...)Even though we only knew a couple of people at the party, we still had a great time and were happy to be invited!

I made a lovely cake to help set the mood for the party. It was a Kitty Litter Cake. I figured it only made sense to bring that since I WAS a cat and all...

Here are some pics of the festive-ness!

Isn't your mouth watering?!


Aren't we cute??

Oh, yeah!

You need to go check out my school website. Make sure your volume is turned up! Please explore all the pages. I've been working hard on it. There are some really cute pics of Fall Festival on the Photos page.

Enjoy!

Holy Crap It's Been a Long Time!

Hello dedicated readers who have faithfully checked my blog everyday for almost a month an seen NOTHING! Apparently, I have been busy! How busy, you ask? Well, I was SOOO busy that I forgot it had been so long since I blogged until I had friends actually calling me to say, "When are you going to blog again?" So, I guess I should fill you all in on my month.

School has been SOOOOOOOOOOOO busy. We had a man show up in Magnum P.I. shorts to talk to the kids about his books. His name was Jonathan Rand and he writes children's SciFi books. You can learn more about him here.

This past Friday, we had Fall Festival at school and so I spent a total of 14 hours at school that day. Then we went to eat with our friends Clare and her boyfriend Tim since it was her birthday. We had mexican and by the time we left there it was almost 11:00 and Corey and I were both DEAD! Corey had strep-throat and I had a sinus infection. I'll tell you, the entire way home from the restaurant I had snot dripping from my nose all over my face and not a Kleenex could be found in my car. And if you've ever been in my car before, you know you could play Let's Make a Deal in there since I have tons of useless crap in it!

Anyway, I've spent the weekend in bed and Corey has been laid up on the couch. (He doesn't get to infect his germs into the bed during the day.) Plus, I had to nap during the day because I could barely sleep at night due to his excessive snoring! I tried to get him to sleep in the other room, but he wasn't up for that. Damn...

I'm sorry this blog wasn't more fun, but I'm pooped and I'm suffering from a case of CRS (see if you can figure that out, smarties) but I will leave you with a lovely picture of myself and Mr. Hawkins. I think this accurately portrays the way I feel about critters...

P.S. I have found my new favorite show this season. DIRTYSEXYMONEY is the BEST! It stars Peter Krause who was on my all-time favorite show Six Feet Under. I love him. Shh..don't tell Corey!

Everybody can Suck it!

That's the name of one of Kathy Griffin's comedy specials. Last night, Corey and I went and saw her at TPAC for our anniversary present. She was HILARIOUS!!! We have been fans of hers for a while now and haven't missed an episode of "My Life on the D-List." If you haven't heard of her, you have obviously been living under a rock for an excruciatingly long time! She is most recently know for publicly not thanking Jesus during her acceptance speech at the Emmy's. She has since caught a LOT of crap for this statement, which she LOVES because it just causes more people to talk about her, which in turn causes more publicity and popularity on her behalf. There is no bad press, you know... A theater group in Pigeon Forge, TN took out a full page add in USA Today to state their disagreement with her comment. That is ridiculous! They spent $100 thousand to do this instead of doing something productive with their money. What morons!

Anyway, NO one was off limits. We were thoroughly entertained by the way she made fun of and talked badly about such celebrities as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Dubya, Andy Dick, O.J. Simpson, Barbara Walters, Martha Stewart, the Dog Whisperer, Ty Pennington, and Nick Carter (just to name a few.) My jaws were in PAIN when we left!!

I love Kathy because if I weren't a teacher, I'd be HER! How cool would it be to be PAID to make fun of Hollywood dumb-asses and cause people to almost wet themselves on a daily basis!? I could SOOOOOO do that! I'm good at making fun of almost anything. I already tell-it-like-it-is, AND I'm funny, too! (or so I've been told) Don't you think I'd be good at that job?! I'm ready to hit Zanie's!!! Here's a picture of Kathy from a far. We had balcony seats, so she was kind of a blur, but we still got to see her!!!



And here's a couple of pictures of us all dudded up!





Oh, by the way...we are having a Yard Sale this coming Saturday. PLEASE come and buy my crap! We have tons of it!! I took pictures to prove it to you, too!! If you need directions, email me...I'd LOVE to see you there!

Don't Call it a Comeback...

Did you SEE Britney Spears and her nappy-ass weave perform "Gimme More" tonight on the VMA's? Puh-lease. She just needs to keep her stock in Cheetos. She looked drugged, lazy, and like she just plain didn't care about being there. I'm sorry, but if this was supposed to be my "comeback" from being a crazy bitch, you bet your sweet ass I'd be giving 210%! HORRIBLE!

I tried to find a YouTube of the stinker of a performance she gave tonight, but apparently they have all been yanked...so, you'll just have to deal with the promise of a great performance!It's Britney, Bitch!

Racin'

So back at Christmas, my mother-in-law bought the "Richard Petty Driving Experience" for my father-in-law, Wayne. This is where you pay an insane or insane-er amount of money to go to the race track and drive a car. Well, today was the day! We all loaded up and headed off to the Nashville Super Speedway, which is located NOWHERE near Nashville and makes TOTAL sense to me! Anyway, we got up there and it was POURING the rain, but eventually dried up and they didn't have to call it off. Corey's brother, Jason got in on the action, too by riding with a driver at about 140 mph. Let's face it, you have to be a TINGE red behind the ears to be a Racin' fan. We (Corey & I) are not, but it was fun to watch Wayne get in and out of that car. He is not a small guy by any account!

After the "hurry up and wait" of the "experience" we finally took our stomachs that were eating themselves to Demos' for dinner. It was tasty, but I got pissed at them because they don't give free refills on their Fruit Tea, so I refused to order it and I made a HUGE point to let them know that Calypso Cafe gives free refills and theirs is probably better anyway...assholes.

If you are interested in seeing the "experience" of my father-in-law, click HERE

Have a great rest of the weekend...