Where is Richard Simmons when I need him?

I am SOOO ready to head back to school. I can't take this Spring Break stuff much longer. I'm going to go insane! I swear I think I've gained a gazillion-trillion pounds this week because I've been on NO schedule whatsoever! I've eaten at McAllister's, Chop House, McDonald's, Hardee's, Sonic, P.F.Chang's, TGI Friday's, Marble Slab, Jason's Deli, Macaroni Grill, Pei Wei's, and Olive Garden - just to name a few. AND on top of that, Corey and I have raided the discounted Easter candy isles and eaten our weight in Mounds & Reese Eggs. Oh, and the Cadbury ones, too.


Please send Richard to my house if you see him. Let him know he needs to help me Sweat to the Oldies - except I hate to sweat! I see NO point in getting ready and putting on clean "special" work-out clothes just to go get dirty and need a shower all over again.

Oooh, and I saw my "Bestest" friend last week when I went to get my strep test. You know, the dietitian...she saw me and said, "Oh, I didn't expect to see you here!" Puh-leeze. She's scared of me. I know it. She is...she was afraid I was coming to fondle her rubber chicken cutlets again.

Sorry, I got off my topic. Please forgive me. Anyway - I'm a lard ass and I need someone to come and staple my mouth shut, lock my fridge, and put alarms on my pantry.

I can't wait to go back to school...

Morning Tongue

This might just edge out the "Cootie Queen" commercial...be prepared to pee yourself.