The Olden Days

As Corey and I were going through old pictures and cleaning and re-arranging our house this past weekend, I came across this gem! This is a picture of my high school band, "Khaki's Ex." Don't ask me about the name because I have NO idea where the hell it came from! Anyway, we were quite the shiz-nit as you can imagine...



From left to right: Jon, Mark, Tommy, Me. weren't we AWESOME!!??

If you were lucky enough to be at one of our infamous concerts, please leave a comment of your memories! haha!

Santa Loves Me!

Oh goody, goody! Christmas has again come and gone. I'm quite over the festivities as I'm sure you all are! And please, be responsible and take down your damn decorations and lights sometime within the next week or two. You don't want to look like the neighborhood jackass who is too lazy to un-decorate!!!

ANYWAY...Santa was good - No, he did not bring me an Orange Honda Element, but the Tax Refund Fairy probably will. I did however receive the following items:

From Mom & Dad, and my Grandpa: Gift cards galore, a down vest, jewelry, money, a kitty motel for a stray cat that sleeps on our porch sometimes, and Bare Minerals Gold Collection makeup.

From Corey: Two earring and necklace sets (one brown, and one black), orange house shoes, 2 sweaters (one black w/ polka-dot shirt underneath and an orange cable knit sweater), the Neutrogena Healthy Skin Rejuvinator, a Dove collection of soaps, and an Oral-B rechargeable toothbrush.

From the In-Laws: Orange Crocks, Garrett's Popcorn (a Chicago MUST), gift cards to the Gap, lottery tickets, a 1 hour massage, and a Black & Decker Scum Buster.

All in all, it was a wonderful Christmas and I'm very greatful for everthing I got. Today I went to the Gap Outlet in Lebanon and spent every penny and thensome of my giftcards. I got about 8 shirts and a cute little sweat suit that is SOOOO soft and snuggly that I'm hoping we'll have another "sweats" day at school so I can wear it! I also went to Lane Bryant's Semi-Annual sale and got myself some new skivvies! Jealous, I know!

Well, we only have about a week left before it's Back to School time again. Ugh. Can't wait. At least New Year's will be fun! Who doesn't enjoy Champagne?! Bring on the New Year!!

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year's eve and a hangover free New Year's day!!

Birthday!

Hello!

Last Thursday (December 6) was my birthday! Thanks to all who wished me Happy Birthday and celebrated with me. If you are one of the few who didn't...then it SUCKS to be you! hahahahaha

Anyway, on Thursday I had a wonderful day which included getting Orange flowers delivered to my school from my parents and a scrumptious dinner at 5 Senses courtesy of Corey's parents. They drove down from Franklin to take us (ME!) out to dinner. I'm telling you, you MUST go! Very delicious! I had filet mignon and creme brulee. Quite tasty. After we ate I went and bought myself one of those fancy schmancy CHI hair straighteners and my hair loves me for it! Corey also gave me Paramore's first CD "All We Know is Falling" since I LOVE their current one, "RIOT." That is a whole 'nother blog, though. My obsession with Paramore is TOO intense for this one!

On Friday night, my closest friends Clare & Tim, Clarissa & Jason, Dusty & Phillip, and Corey and I all went to Fuji Japanese Steakhouse for hibatchi hijinx! The night was capped off by everyone coming over for cake and ice cream and a resounding game of Apples to Apples! We also had a few drinks...

On Saturday, my parents came up and took us (ME!) out to eat at Puleo's Grill and it was just as tasty as ever. When we got home, they gave me a cute little Christmas shirt with a reindeer on it (with a red nose) and some smell good shower gel and lotion (I think they might be trying to tell me something.) My parents and my grandpa also made VERY generous donations to the "Buy Stephanie an Orange Honda Element Fund." So, look out for me in March, bitches...

My parents spent the night and we had breakfast at IHOP the next morning. We also went shopping at TJ Maxx where my mom and I both scored a pair of J-41 (made by Jeep) shoes that are too cute for words for super cheap! Then, my friend Rachel called and said she had come up from Chattanooga to take me to lunch and she was at my house! So, we rushed home to see her and my parents headed home. Rachel and I went shopping on the Avenue and by shopping I mean we just went to drool on things.

We ended up working up an apetite around 4ish and so we ate at Mimi's Cafe. Again, you MUST go. The menu was huge and various! I would recommend it highly! Plus, they have chocolate mints by the door when you leave, so even if you don't go there to eat, stop in and steal yourself a handful of those bad-boys!

Oh, my friend Jennifer also got me the most beautiful teal wrap bracelet just because she loves me ever so much. Clarissa tried to find the Smyrna Starbucks in LaVergne so that she could bring me coffee, but she ended up going to McDonald's instead. That's ok, it was sure tasty! All-in-all I had a VERY good day. I will now leave you with pictures of my cake and flowers...

Tee-hee-hee...

Tidings...

Hello all, and Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone had a pleasant day with their family(s) and stuffed yourself full of the crap you only get to eat 2 times a year. We have round 2 tomorrow at my Mom & Dad's house. Anyway, that's not really the reason I wanted to blog tonight. I mean, it is, but I've been meaning to say my peace about this other topic for a while...

The topic is that gross-ass Oreo commercial where the Granny and the kid have a stuff lickin' contest. Please tell me you've seen it. Could that BE any more disgusting?! I mean, I literally gag every time I see that commercial! Nobody wants to see granny gettin' down like that unless you are one of those sick old pervs who is into that kind of shee-yawt! Nobody above the age of 40 should be lip smackin' like that in public, much less teaching YOUNGER children how to do it! I mean, you can see granny's saliva dripping off her tounge and she just has a bad case of old-lady lips that look like they've seen the inside of a donkey's pancreas! Now, there's no doubt that granny was a *good* girlfriend back in the day. I bet she had boys knocking down her door to see her lick an Oreo or two. She should NOT be teaching her grandaughter those kinds of perversions. Anyway, I firmly believe this commercial should be pulled off the air. If you have not seen the toxic-ness of which I am speaking, feast your eyes on this:

Go "Eff" yourself...

Oops! I mean "Elf" yourself!! You have GOT to click HERE to view the FUNNIEST thing I have ever seen! You are going to be AMAZED!!!

Thank you Lisa, you have truly inspired me!!

PS...make sure your speakers are on and UP!

New! New! New!

Hello all 3 of you reading!

I really have nothing to say. This weekend has been busy and filled with (LONG) weddings, Wal-Mart shopping (3 times) and running around. Apparently my car has a cracked radiator and the brakes also need to be replaced. I am still taking donations to the "Buy Stephanie an Orange Element" fund!

My friend Kristin got married yesterday. That was literally the LONGEST wedding I've ever been to; an hour and a half. YES, the ceremony was an hour and a half! That's an hour and fifteen minutes longer than my OWN wedding! We didn't stay for the reception. By the time they would have taken pictures and gotten to the reception it would have been another hour and we were starving to death!!! So, we went to Corey's parent's house and ate at the Franklin Chop House with them. YUMMY!

Today we have been to Wal-Mart twice (after going last night, too.) We bought a smaller Christmas tree this year except we accidentally got one with multi-color lights so we had to exchange it for clear ones. I HATE multi-colored lights!!!!! I think they are the tackiest thing ever. I have always been VERY particular about my trees. I only want white lights and very little to no ornaments on the tree. One year, I made my mom put just white lights and silver tinsel on it. She thought I was crazy, but I LOVED that tree!

I am also a very firm believer that your tree should have a color scheme. I am not a huge fan of homemade ornaments or the tacky ones people give you because they have to get you something for the Holidays. Ugh. I understand the sentimental stuff, but enough is enough!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I am not really in the festive holiday spirit as of late, but maybe that will change. I'm such a Bah-Hum-Bug! I always have been. My birthday, however is coming soon and I do always look forward to that! I'm sure I'll let you all know about the festivities surrounding that!

I will leave you now with my favorite South Park Christmas character - Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo...

Kitty

I Covet...

I think I'm going to start a "Help Stephanie Buy Her Orange Honda Element Fund." My poor car is dying and there's no new car future in sight.

Please, for the mere price of a cup of coffee per day, you could help a poor exhausted teacher afford a car that isn't a POS. Won't you help?

A Spook-tacular Halloween Party!

Last night, Corey and I were invited to our friend's, Clarissa and Jason's Halloween party. I was a cat and he was a devil (his usual self)! We met a lot of interesting characters such as Britney Spears, Kid Rock, Elmer Fudd, Buggs Bunny, a white trash girl (Clarissa) and her hippie husband. It was fun! They had their house all decked out with spooky decorations and spiderwebs, a fog machine, and a disco ball! Clarissa had her I-pod hooked up to speakers so the dance music could be heard all across the neighborhood! Lol! Clarissa made some fabulous "Witch's Brew," which was very potent and relaxing (if you catch my drift...)Even though we only knew a couple of people at the party, we still had a great time and were happy to be invited!

I made a lovely cake to help set the mood for the party. It was a Kitty Litter Cake. I figured it only made sense to bring that since I WAS a cat and all...

Here are some pics of the festive-ness!

Isn't your mouth watering?!


Aren't we cute??

Oh, yeah!

You need to go check out my school website. Make sure your volume is turned up! Please explore all the pages. I've been working hard on it. There are some really cute pics of Fall Festival on the Photos page.

Enjoy!

Holy Crap It's Been a Long Time!

Hello dedicated readers who have faithfully checked my blog everyday for almost a month an seen NOTHING! Apparently, I have been busy! How busy, you ask? Well, I was SOOO busy that I forgot it had been so long since I blogged until I had friends actually calling me to say, "When are you going to blog again?" So, I guess I should fill you all in on my month.

School has been SOOOOOOOOOOOO busy. We had a man show up in Magnum P.I. shorts to talk to the kids about his books. His name was Jonathan Rand and he writes children's SciFi books. You can learn more about him here.

This past Friday, we had Fall Festival at school and so I spent a total of 14 hours at school that day. Then we went to eat with our friends Clare and her boyfriend Tim since it was her birthday. We had mexican and by the time we left there it was almost 11:00 and Corey and I were both DEAD! Corey had strep-throat and I had a sinus infection. I'll tell you, the entire way home from the restaurant I had snot dripping from my nose all over my face and not a Kleenex could be found in my car. And if you've ever been in my car before, you know you could play Let's Make a Deal in there since I have tons of useless crap in it!

Anyway, I've spent the weekend in bed and Corey has been laid up on the couch. (He doesn't get to infect his germs into the bed during the day.) Plus, I had to nap during the day because I could barely sleep at night due to his excessive snoring! I tried to get him to sleep in the other room, but he wasn't up for that. Damn...

I'm sorry this blog wasn't more fun, but I'm pooped and I'm suffering from a case of CRS (see if you can figure that out, smarties) but I will leave you with a lovely picture of myself and Mr. Hawkins. I think this accurately portrays the way I feel about critters...

P.S. I have found my new favorite show this season. DIRTYSEXYMONEY is the BEST! It stars Peter Krause who was on my all-time favorite show Six Feet Under. I love him. Shh..don't tell Corey!

Everybody can Suck it!

That's the name of one of Kathy Griffin's comedy specials. Last night, Corey and I went and saw her at TPAC for our anniversary present. She was HILARIOUS!!! We have been fans of hers for a while now and haven't missed an episode of "My Life on the D-List." If you haven't heard of her, you have obviously been living under a rock for an excruciatingly long time! She is most recently know for publicly not thanking Jesus during her acceptance speech at the Emmy's. She has since caught a LOT of crap for this statement, which she LOVES because it just causes more people to talk about her, which in turn causes more publicity and popularity on her behalf. There is no bad press, you know... A theater group in Pigeon Forge, TN took out a full page add in USA Today to state their disagreement with her comment. That is ridiculous! They spent $100 thousand to do this instead of doing something productive with their money. What morons!

Anyway, NO one was off limits. We were thoroughly entertained by the way she made fun of and talked badly about such celebrities as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Dubya, Andy Dick, O.J. Simpson, Barbara Walters, Martha Stewart, the Dog Whisperer, Ty Pennington, and Nick Carter (just to name a few.) My jaws were in PAIN when we left!!

I love Kathy because if I weren't a teacher, I'd be HER! How cool would it be to be PAID to make fun of Hollywood dumb-asses and cause people to almost wet themselves on a daily basis!? I could SOOOOOO do that! I'm good at making fun of almost anything. I already tell-it-like-it-is, AND I'm funny, too! (or so I've been told) Don't you think I'd be good at that job?! I'm ready to hit Zanie's!!! Here's a picture of Kathy from a far. We had balcony seats, so she was kind of a blur, but we still got to see her!!!



And here's a couple of pictures of us all dudded up!





Oh, by the way...we are having a Yard Sale this coming Saturday. PLEASE come and buy my crap! We have tons of it!! I took pictures to prove it to you, too!! If you need directions, email me...I'd LOVE to see you there!

Don't Call it a Comeback...

Did you SEE Britney Spears and her nappy-ass weave perform "Gimme More" tonight on the VMA's? Puh-lease. She just needs to keep her stock in Cheetos. She looked drugged, lazy, and like she just plain didn't care about being there. I'm sorry, but if this was supposed to be my "comeback" from being a crazy bitch, you bet your sweet ass I'd be giving 210%! HORRIBLE!

I tried to find a YouTube of the stinker of a performance she gave tonight, but apparently they have all been yanked...so, you'll just have to deal with the promise of a great performance!It's Britney, Bitch!

Racin'

So back at Christmas, my mother-in-law bought the "Richard Petty Driving Experience" for my father-in-law, Wayne. This is where you pay an insane or insane-er amount of money to go to the race track and drive a car. Well, today was the day! We all loaded up and headed off to the Nashville Super Speedway, which is located NOWHERE near Nashville and makes TOTAL sense to me! Anyway, we got up there and it was POURING the rain, but eventually dried up and they didn't have to call it off. Corey's brother, Jason got in on the action, too by riding with a driver at about 140 mph. Let's face it, you have to be a TINGE red behind the ears to be a Racin' fan. We (Corey & I) are not, but it was fun to watch Wayne get in and out of that car. He is not a small guy by any account!

After the "hurry up and wait" of the "experience" we finally took our stomachs that were eating themselves to Demos' for dinner. It was tasty, but I got pissed at them because they don't give free refills on their Fruit Tea, so I refused to order it and I made a HUGE point to let them know that Calypso Cafe gives free refills and theirs is probably better anyway...assholes.

If you are interested in seeing the "experience" of my father-in-law, click HERE

Have a great rest of the weekend...

Mystic Tans, Reunions, and Bad News...

Folks, it's been a whirlwind weekend! On Friday afternoon, we (Jennifer, Clare, and I) met up with Katie and Erin at Chili's. As always, we had a splendid time and I even took pictures! However, and here comes the bad news part, my camera is DEAD and I cannot upload them to my computer. I discovered this when I changed the batteries this afternoon and it STILL didn't work! Ugh, so...no pictures of of Chili's OR my 10 year high school reunion! Dammit!

After Chili's I left to go to the SunTan City tanning salon for my first encounter with the Mystic Tan. If you have never done this before you should at least do it once! I went in, watched the ever-so-helpful video of just exactly how to "MysticTan", then the girl led me back to this room with a cage and gave me a quick demo. Let me tell you, it takes longer to take off your clothes and put on that barrier cream than it does to tan! I finally got it and all I could think of was that episode of "Friends" where Ross was too stupid to turn around, so he came out looking like a carrot on one side and a potato on the other. The whole process takes about a minute and a half. It was nice. I was disappointed when I got out because I was expecting to look darker instantly and even more so after 3-4 hours. BUT when I got up in the morning, the first thing Corey said to me was, "You are TAN!" So it was a good thing, and no, I didn't look like Ross. I bought the package of 6 tans, so I have 5 more to go. I guess I'll go about once a week. If I added it up correctly (and you all know I'm a math tard) it is cheaper than tanning in a bed!

My reunion was on Saturday night. I'm sure everyone is apprehensive about going to see people you haven't seen or cared about seeing the past 10 years, but we ended up having a GREAT time! We mostly hung out with people that I'm still friends with through MySpace, so I didn't have to waste time asking them, "Where are you now? What do you do? How many kids do you have?" and other boring small talk like that. I was really excited to see my friend Seth, whom I haven't seen in forever. He rolled in in a fat ass black Mercedes! He is an accountant with a large firm in Atlanta, so he's doing VERY well! I was also super excited to see my friend Kynetha. She lives in L.A. now, so it has been a couple of years since I've seen her. We were BFF in high school and I miss hanging out with her!

After the reunion was over and the restaurant (no, not the Depot, Katie)kicked us out, we went over to the after party at the condo hosted by Shasten and Melissa. We stayed until about 12:30 and then said our goodbyes. I am still shocked that Beth & Brannon, Tammy & Jeremy, Beth & Ben, Erin & Nick, and Corey and I ALL live in the 'Boro and we haven't hung out! We had to go all the way to Crossville to do it!

On Sunday afternoon, after eating breakfast at the Bean Pot and lunch at Dicky's BBQ, we headed home for a much needed relaxing evening! I went to bed pretty early since we didn't go to sleep the night before until about 1:30 in the morning!

Today all I've done is clean! No, not true...I met Erin for lunch at Moe's and then we went to Marble Slab for dessert. I'm sure my BFF is going to LOVE that! How many freakin' stars will I get this week!? I also ate a piece of chocolate cake on Saturday night, so I'm SURE I'll get 4 stars for that one! Anyway, after lunch I went to Bath and Body works to get some hair stuff, which is WONDERFUL. The name is "Fakkai" and I get the glossing cream. It makes my hair literally feel like silk! They were also having a sale on their Aromatherapy soap, which NEVER happens, so I picked up 5 for $15. My favorite flavor is the Eucalyptis Spearamint. YUMMY! I also had a coupon for a free pair of panties from Victoria's Secret, so I made their day and didn't spend a DIME! Hahahahah...I love it when I win! lol

Anyway, I've had a full day/weekend and I have pants to take out of the dryer, so I'm leaving you for now! Since my camera is broken, I will leave you with a picture from Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion...one of my favorite movies!

How could you not love it?

How could a person be so mean? Just look at that scrumptious powdered sugar and adorable pink box!


P.S. If you have NO idea why I posted this, please read the blog below.

Sick Day!

Hello super fans!

I played hooky today from school. Well, not really - I did really have a Dr. appointment for an ailment I've been having since Sunday. I have had what I've been calling "Phantom Gall-Bladder" pains, off and on for 3 days now and I have been SO uncomfortable! I had my gall bladder taken out in October of 2001, so it is not that! It is a very dull, persistent pain in my upper abdomen which also seems to put pressure and pain in between my shoulder blades. I have also had acid reflux, which has just added not only to the comfort level, but the fun as well! So, I went to the CareHere clinic today (it is a free clinic for County employees) and saw the Dr., who was not the usual Dr. there. She told me...get ready for this...I have HEARTBURN. ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?! ARE YOU TELLING ME I TOOK AN ENTIRE DAY OFF FOR F'N HEARTBURN!??! I was pissed!!

She gave me some Zantac and told me to eat bland food. Um, yeah...that's ALL I eat anyway! Puh-leeze. Again, another person who was not well aware of what they were getting when they signed on with me.

I went to Kroger and spent $20+ on Chicken Noodle soup, crackers, mashed potatoes, pudding, cottage cheese and milk. My dietitician is gonna LOVE this! "Where's your fruit?" (star) "Where's your vegetables?" (another star) Oh, did I tell you that she put a CHECK MARK by the 2 freakin' Danish Wedding Cookies I ate last week?! Have you ever seen a danish wedding cookie before, you skinny bitch? They are about as big as a QUARTER! I just don't understand people who don't eat...

Today, as usual I will leave you with some sort of visual representation of my blog. Please enjoy!

Just F.Y.I.

Dear Parents,

When you move away to a foreign country such as Mexico, please don't send your NON-Spanish speaking child to school without having someone with him/her all day to translate. That way, when your child has a COMPLETE meltdown, at least somebody will know what they hell they are talking about. That is also especially helpful when they are supposed to ride a bus and they can't tell you which one they ride.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Smith

Damn, I'm a good cook!

I just wanted to toot my horn tonight. For those of you who have ABSOLUTELY no idea who I am and what I like to do let me tell you...yah, yah, yah, I'm a teacher but when I come home I LOVE to cook! I've been "selling" (and I use that term loosly)Pampered Chef for the last, well it will be 5 years in April. Whew! Time has sure flown by. So anyway, I love to cook! I don't get to do it very often, but this week I've cooked 3 nights in a row. Sunday I made chicken marsala, Monday I made white bean tuscan soup, and tonight I made artichoke chicken with roasted potatoes. All three meals have been SUUUUUUUUUPER!

Tomorrow I go to the dietitician and she better not put stars on anything! I've been really pretty good this week with the exception of Friday. The scale says I've been good, so I'll let you know. So far I've lost about 10 lbs. Not enough, but not too bad...

Oh yeah, my school is selling Smart Cards, so you better buy one or I'll have to hunt you down and kick your ass! :-)

Happy Tuesday!

I am EXHAUSTED!

Well folks, here I am. Two days into school and I am sooooooo freaking tired. I could sleep forever and it wouldn't be enough! I have been so incredibly busy that I've not had time to do ANYTHING! I got all my students and I'll let you know the demographics:
4 ESL students (two of wich don't speak English AT ALL)
4 resource students
3 CDC students
a student with Asperger's
a student with Diabetes who has to be constantly monitored
a student who has seizures on a daily basis
and a total of THIRTY students all together

I am VERY overwhelmed! Hopefully we'll be getting another 4th grade teacher soon because we (all 5 of us) are sitting at around 27-28 students.

My students seem to be pretty good so far and I hope they stay that way. I don't want to say too much more about my class because you know how sue happy people get now a days and I'm not interested in being on the recieving end of that!

Other than that, NOTHING has been going on in my life, which is why I haven't blogged. I don't like the beginning of school because my whole life is upside down and I'm frazzled! I will be in a better place come October...I'm pooped now...

Alyson!

Today I went to lunch with my good friend Alyson in Franklin. I have not seen her in over a year since she moved back home to Memphis. We used to teach together at Waldron, but she left me all alone :-(

That's OK, though...I forgave her!

We had lunch at Calypso Cafe and it was DELISH, however I don't think she enjoyed it! Oh well, she'll live. Her mother joined us, too...she's a hoot. Alyson is JUST like her!! We were supposed to meet at 11:30, but if you know her, you know that she is notoriously late, but that's ok, I still love her ;-)

I went with Corey, his parents, his brother and sister-in-law, and baby Sarah to Ming's Buffet, which is a Chinese restaurant. I do not in any way shape or form eat Chinese food! I would rather suck on a turd than put that stuff in my mouth! Ugh...AND I DO NOT eat at buffets. It is absolutely disgusting to even fathom eating off of the same spoon as everyone else! GROSS!!! Anyway, I watched them eat the nastiness while I waited on Alyson to arrive and when they were finished, I went across the street to TJ Maxx. Just as I was leaving she called me and said they were getting off the interstate, so I headed back across the street.

We had a great time catching up and I even got to look at her gorgeous wedding pictures! She is planning a return visit in October, so hopefully our visits won't be so few and far between.

After lunch, I went and picked Corey up at his parents' house and we went to the Dollar Tree. SHOCKING, I know. And, as usual I forgot it was Tax Free day, so the parking lot was swarming with people-buzzards looking for parking spots. Fortuately I ran over some blue-haired granny to get one up front...I kid, I kid, ....it wasn't up front...

I got some SUPER cute "Fall Festival" stuff at the Dollar Tree and we looked for some shoes for Corey. His collection is beginning to rival mine. Well, not really, but for him it's a LOT of shoes. FOUR pairs!! lol

We ended up coming back to the 'Boro to go to Shoe Carnival, which I hate because it is always full of red-necks and their red-neck babies wearing dirty diapers and the aisles are WAY too small!...but we were only there for a minute. The guy who wears the clown nose in that place gives me the creeps...

Traffic was HORRIBLE and backed up all the way from the interstate down past the mall, so we went home the back way to avoid all that nonsense. Now we're home and I'm about to watch my new Sunday nite favorites, "Rock of Love," which is a white-trash treasure trove and "The Two Coreys," which is fun to watch because they look for people who will even THINK about giving them a second chance at acting in anything legit. After that, I'm headed to bed to prepare for a wonderfully exciting week of INSERVICE...yay...

Until next time...

Lunch and Shopping!

Hola! Today was a super fun day!! It started when my friends Jennifer, Clare, Clarissa, Katie, Erin, and I went to Chili's in Smyrna to have lunch. It was so great to see Katie and Erin because we haven't seen them much this summer and won't see them much next year since they'll be at a different school. We had a lot of fun catching up with them and chit-chatting about what "fun" the new school year will bring! We stayed for about an hour and a half, gave hugs and then Clarissa and I were off to Lebanon to shop at the outlet mall!

I had completely forgotten that it was tax free weekend - because usually I huddle myself up in a little ball and stay far, far away from anything that resembles a place that sells something during that time! There are WAY too many people out and about and I'd rather have to pay the tax than bitch slap some lady for my parking place! Anyway, it wasn't that bad. A little busy, but not unbearable.

Clarissa and I visited LOTS of stores such as the Coach Outlet (where I hoped to find a bargain, but I didn't), Eddie Bauer, Carter's, Ann Taylor, Gap, and Ralph Lauren. Boy did we load up! I got a cute sweater at Eddie Bauer and some great stuff at the Gap. Clarissa ended up hitting sale after sale, too! Miss Caraline (Clarissa's daughter) is going to be the talk of the sandbox with her new clothes! Too cute! - but they still don't make me long for changing a poop-filled diaper. By the way, I have a story about a poop-filled diaper, a cheating ex-boyfriend, and a VERY hot car...remind me to tell it someday. You know it will be good, cause you all KNOW what I'm capable of...

After my disappointing shopping experience at the Coach Outlet, I decided to just go to Dillard's (instead of driving all the way to Green Hills Mall to the Coach store there) and buy the purse I have REALLY been coveting for about 6 months now. I know many of you are thinking, "Why in the HELL would you buy something so expensive?!" but I'll tell you, once you get one, you can't go back! It really is an addiction!! I have ALWAYS had a thing for purses, shoes, clothes, and Barbies (just ask my mom!) but I quit the Barbie thing a long time ago. And hey, why did I spend 5 years in college to get a job that pays a real salary? So I could spend the rest of my life shopping for purses at Wal-Mart? I think not, dammit! I've paid my dues to the college society (I'm still paying them in monthly installments) and I deserve the best because I'm AWESOME and I rock!

As usual I have taken the liberty of assembling a slide show of my wares for your viewing pleasure:

Back to work!

Hello all (three of you)! I'm sure you were wondering like crazy where I've been for the past few days. Well, I'll tell you...school. Well, really only the physical school today, but the past 2 days I spent sleeping at a school-related conference! Hahaha...just kidding. My body was there was there.

Today we had a meeting, which gave us an additional 5 hours of inservice credit. So, BEFORE we even have to start school, I already have 31 hours for the year. We only have to have 12! Ugh...I get talked into too much stuff!

We have new people at school. It's always strange to get to know them, but I have to remember I was one of "them" once. There is one new one, though. COCKY! That's all I'm sayin'. Lord help ya, buddy. I hope I didn't come out of the gate that way!

Anyway - since I really have nothing to blog about, I decided to go in search of a Thursday Meme. (Named for talking about ME) Here goes:

1. Are you a Chief or an Indian when it comes to work, working on projects, etc? Why/how so?

Hmmm, I tend to be a Chief. My dad always said if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. So TRUE! And, I am a tad bit of a control freak, so if I'm in charge, then it will always go my way! :-)

2. Are you able to be both a Chief and an Indian when the situation calls for it? Why/why not?

Yes, I am a big team player, but I prefer to be the Chief. I can be an Indian - as long as I like the Chief! If not, I'm tempted to switch tribes and open a casino!

3. Is there a particular situation as of late where you have had to be one or the other? What was it?

Ahhh yes, school. My dear friend Jennifer was elected team leader, which I think was a PERFECT choice! However, there are other school things, such as BTS, where I am the Chief. However, I'm always the Chief at home!

Ok, kiddos. That's it for now, but let me just leave you with this picture to honor Nick from Big Brother 8 since he was voted out tonight:

Brace yourselves...

That's right folks, brace yourselves! Breathe deeply as you read these next few words... Stephanie Smith actually went OUTDOORS to play a SPORT!!! I realize some of you may have just had a bowel movement in your pants, but it is actually true!

Corey and I went to Barfield Crescent Park yesterday to play Disc Golf. We played 18 holes and it just about killed me, but by god I made it! Thanks to Tim and Clare, (well Tim really, but Clare plays too) Corey has developed a new obsession and claims to be a "natural" at this game, so he had to show me the ropes. I lost my disk in the woods several times and even went IN the deep forest to get it! I did not see any snakes, but I did see a giant lizard, which scared the holy crap out of me and I screamed like any girly girl would! Of course I cheated a bunch and told myself that I either pared or birdied each hole just to make myself feel better. I really sucked!

We also smelled some interesting scents while we were out there. At first, we thought we were going to encounter a skunk, but we soon discovered that is was just two Bevis and Butt-Head look alikes smoking pot at one of the holes in the woods. What losers! I swear to you, they sounded just like them...laughing and all!

Anyway, I did really well playing the first 9 holes because they were actually in civilization, but once we got to the back 9 I began to realize this was more "outdoor-y" than I had planned for. There was one hole where you had to trek down what seemed like a mountain and then on the hole directly after it you had to haul your ass back up to the top. I thought I was going to die right there and all the maggots and wood critters would have had a lovely dinner! However, I made it. I survived.

I'm not real sure when I will be back to play again. You know how much I LOVE to sweat and all...It's only the most disgusting thing in the world...

For you viewing pleasure, I have compiled a slideshow. Make sure you pay special attention to the captions so that you get the "true" feel for my day. Sorry ladies, there are no pictures of Corey...only ME

A Trip Home

Last Thursday, I left Murfreesboro to head to Crossville. I hadn't been in a while and it was a good chance to get back before school starts. Sometimes it's just nice to go home, ya know? Anyway, I always have my favorite places to stop when I go home, so I was looking forward to my shopping excursion. When I got there, I met my mom at the house and we had to stay there for a little while because there were men working on the garage since it didn't work anymore. My dad called and wanted us to meet him for lunch before he had to head to the store. (Here's my dad in his favorite chair looking oh so handsome:)
After the worker men left, we went to meet him at the Cracker Barrel. I was really good and ordered a grilled chicken salad and I even left most of my croutons! We all had a good lunch, but it had to be quick so dad could get back and open the store.

After lunch, mom and I began our tour of my usual places to hit when I go home. We went to the Dollar Tree, which as you all know is my most FAVORITE store on the planet! I needed something that was metal for my students to be able to use their Magnetic Poetry centers on. They just happened to have some colorful square metal sheets to be used as a memo board in their Back to School section. I picked up six of them! I also got some really cool, clear frog and human models in their toy section. You can take them apart and "disect" them without getting all goopy! I got a couple of them for my friend, Clarissa, too! We also hit up the Cato store, but didn't find anything there. So we moved on to the used book store.
The Book Cellar is also one of Corey's favorite places to visit, but he looks for scary books! I go to look for books to use in my classroom. I will usually buy 2-3 copies of the same book if I can find it so that I can use them for book circles! I did end up finding a few books, and even one on tape, so it turned out to be a pretty good find!

After shopping all day we met my dad for dinner at Dickey's Barbeque. That happens to be my and Corey's "special" place (lol) but that's another story. I had a baked potato with pulled pork bbq and it was mighty tasty!! They also have these big-ass pickles you can get out of a jar! It was a very tasty dinner!

My mom goes to a water aerobics class on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. She wanted me to go with her in the morning, but I needed a bathing suit, so we went out to the outlet mall to find a new swim suit for me and some new tennis shoes for dad. I got a chocolate brown suit with rouching to hide all my fat rolls! It's really cute! So anyway, the next day we got up and went to her water aerobics class. I SWEAR to you my mom and I were the youngest people there! And...the class was lead by this old German lady. Let me tell you, that German lady was FIERCE! She had everybody's asses up moving around! It lasted about an hour, but it was fun and I am thinking about going to the YMCA here since they offer water aerobic classes, too!
Here is a picture of the pool:


The rest of the day was great, too! We met Marilyn, a family friend, to go see "Hairspray" at the movies and it was really cute! It was SUPER hard not to get popcorn, but mom and I snuck in some 100 calorie packs of snacks and we were fine! Here's my mom and Marilyn at the movie theater:

My dad's band, the City Lights, was playing out at the Fairfield country club that night and mom and I wanted to go see them, so we went shopping to find something to wear, naturally! We searched all over the place, but I finally found a really cute black and white polka-dot dress at Goody's. When we tried to call and make reservations, they were all booked up, so we didn't end up going after all. :-(
Instead, we called Marilyn and asked her to eat at Gondola's with us. It was really good and nice to spend more time with her!

The next day, I slept late! It was nice since I hadn't been sleeping well. I watched my mom kill a poke weed in front of her house. This is what people use to make "poke salit" and no, that's not spelled wrong. People used to eat this stuff! Here's a little slide show of it's removal by my mother:

We went to lunch with my grandpa at Shoney's and it was good to see him. Below are pictures of him with my mom and with his fishin' hat on:


It was also good to see the animals.

Spooky, the dalmation, Orange, the cat, and a random frog in the driveway! lol I also saw a black snake wriggling across the road as I was leaving! Ewww... I had a fun time and I'll be back again on Sept. 1st for my 10 year High School reunion!

I am Big Bird

Your Score: Big Bird

You scored 83% Organization, 46% abstract, and 81% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are very organized, both concrete and abstract, and more extroverted.

Here is why are you Big Bird.

You are both very organized. You almost always know where your belongings are and you prefer things neat. You may even enjoy cleaning and find it therapeutic. Big Bird is never sloppy and always under control... pretty good for a 6 year old bird living without a family.

You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Big Bird can be quite dreamy at times and has no problem using his imagination. At the same time he is also practical and can be methodical in his search for answers to questions. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course.

You are both extroverts. Big Bird gets along with everyone. He makes friends easily and always has a positive attitude. You definitely enjoy the company of others, and you don't have problems meeting new people... in fact you probably look forward to it. You are willing to take charge when necessary or work as part of a team.

The other possible characters are
Oscar the Grouch
Bert
Snuffleupagus
Ernie
Elmo
Kermit the Frog
Grover
Cookie Monster
Guy Smiley
The Count

Hey, don't be a grouch! If you liked the test, let others know by rating it below. Feel free to vote for your favorite character too.

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test written by greencowsgomoo on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Rain...

This is what was going on at my house today!

Birthday Celebration #2

Well, yesterday was Corey's birthday and we had a fantastic time! It all started as we got up around 7:00 to get ready to go to the zoo. We got up there around 9:30 and began our day. We really enjoyed seeing the animals, but especially the giraffes and elephants! I got to see Hadari, the elephant that painted the picture in my livingroom! She had a notch in her ear and the shortest tail, so that's how we were able to distinguish her from the other 2 elephants. She is the one on the far left in the picture below. I ran into my friend Alison at the aquarium part of the zoo. She was there with her family and her friend. You can read all about her trip to the zoo HERE

After we left the zoo, we went over to the Hickory Hollow mall (ONLY because it was still daylight!) and had lunch in the food court. Corey had a gyro from Pyramids and I had a turkey sandwich from Subway. After lunch we cruised the mall and ended up at a store called "Steve & Barry's." This is where Sarah Jessica Parker has her new BITTEN clothing line. I had never been there before, but let me tell you - it is WAAAAAAY cheaper than Old Navy ever dreamed of being! Corey and I got 2 graphic tees there. His says "Dungeons & Dragons" on it because he is a geek and mine is pink with a turtle on it and says "It's all about me, get used to it" which is SO appropriate!

I was also on a mission to find some nice red heels to go with my two new black and white outfits that I purchased last week. I looked all over the mall but couldn't find any. After we had been at home and rested for about an hour, we went back out and I stopped at Payless and bought what my friend Sandy referred to as "red hooker heels." They are actually pretty comfortable. You should click on the link to see them; they're cute!

After finding my heels, we went to Hastings because Corey was on a mission to find the 20th anniversary edition of "The Monster Squad." If you are a loser and didn't see this movie back in the 80s, I HIGHLY recommend that you watch it! It's awesome! Ryan Lambert is in it and as we all know, he was on Kids Incorporated with Fergie. He's second from the left and Fergie is the cute little blonde girl on the bottom. Boy, did she get fugly! Anyway, we got the movie and saved the day. Then we went to Publix, which I lovingly refer to as "Pubix" for birthday cake and ice cream.

We came home and got ready to meet our friends at Fuji and yes, I wore my red hooker heels. We had an awesome dinner, but our chef didn't like the fact that I ordered my filet mignon medium well, so he gave me shit about it all night. I told him that was ok, but at the end of the meal, I was the one leaving the tip. He seemed to shut up after that comment. Other than that, our dinner was quite pleasant. There were 8 of us: Corey and Myself, Clare and Tim, Aaron and Jenny, Sandy, and Shad. All but Shad came over for cake and ice cream after it was over. We cracked open the bottle of icewine that Corey's parents brought us back from Canada and sipped on it out of my cute little cordial glasses. The girls and I went and enjoyed a conversation about America and politics on the front porch while it came a monsoon storm and the boys were sissies and sat in the kitchen - probably talking about recipes and how to knit themselves new man-panties.

We hit the hay around 11:30 and I conked right out! It was a long-ass day, but we had a great time! Oh, I got Corey a DVD/VCR combo for his birthday. He was excited!! We spent WAY too much money, but it was worth it. Birthdays are fun! Now, mine is December 6th and y'all better believe we'll be celebrating!!! Just wait...

No stars!

Just an FYI...

I went to weigh in today and I've lost another 3.4lbs. AND...here's the biggest part - she didn't put stars next to ANYTHING! That means that everything that I ate this week was acceptable! Yay! So, the bitch isn't a bitch this week. I'll let her be "the chick" until further notice, but by god if she puts a star on my shit next week, she'll be back to bitch status!

Corey's Birthday Celebration #1

This afternoon, we went to Franklin. Tuesday is Corey's birthday, so we went to celebrate with his parents today. Our reservations at Saffire were for 5:00, which by the way if you haven't been, you should TOTALLY go - it's in the Factory. Anyway, we got down there around 2:00, so we had some time to kill. After hanging out with his parents we decided to head over to Academy sports to look for a Disc Golf set.

See, Clare and Tim came over the other day (when we had our mani/pedis) and while the girls were out Tim took Corey to play disc golf over at Barfiled Park. Apparently this is now his newest obsession!! So, off we went to the sporting goods store to buy TWO sets. One for him and one for guess who...ME. Have I ever played this before? No. It will be very interesting to see how that goes. I HATE to sweat, so if that happens we'll have to persue other options. Maybe I can take a portable fan with me...do they have those? Back to my story - Academy SUCKS! That place is huge and the isles are literally 4 feet wide and I have an intense feeling of claustrophobia every time I go in there. We finally found the disc golf stuff with the CAMPING equipment. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to do that!? Who said, "It makes COMPLETE sense to put disc golf over with the portable toilets and waterproof toilet paper!" We didn't like the deal they had there and I hated the store, so we left and went to Dick's.

Dick's was MUCH more open and less crowded and we were able to find what we wanted quickly, so we were in and out. Those little discs are expensive. For a pack of three - a driver, iron, and putter - it cost $24! DAYUM! We purchased two sets so that MOI could play.

We went back to his parents house and piled in the van to go down the street to Saffire. I'm telling you - YOU HAVE TO GO! It is expensive, but very tasty!! They have these cheese grits, made with mascarpone cheese and cream that are to DIE for!! So, Judy, Corey and I had the fish and grits. It was wonderful, but I couldn't eat it all; I was stuffed! I wonder if any of the chefs there work at Viking, too? I need to take another class there and maybe they can teach me how to cook the fish that way. I made the grits at home once, but they weren't nearly as good as Saffire's.

After dinner, we went back to his parent's house to have ice cream cake. Mmmmmm....I was sooooo bad today! However, I have eaten about 100 less calories each day in anticipation of today. We will also be going to Fuji Japanese Steakhouse on Tuesday, so I'll have to make up for that later in the week. I weigh in tomorrow and hopefully HER scale will show as much progress as MY scale does...

We got home around 8 and tried to watch Big Brother, but our stupid-ass TiVo wouldn't play it, so after Corey spent 30 minutes on the phone with a rep. from DirecTV's customer service, we finally got to watch it after I found it on the computer on a spoiler site. Ahhh, sweet drama. I freakin' LOVE Big Brother! It is the apitomy of summer to me. Love it!! Ok, it's time to shut up now.

Oh, the Kava's place wasn't all that but they did have some damn good iced tea!

Haircuts and toenails

Hello all! I'm sure there are like, three of you reading this... Anyway, I just thought I'd update you on the past 2 days of my life because I KNOW you can't live without an update!

Thursday my friends Clare and Clarissa and I went to the hair-do school to get our manis and pedis. Now, you may be thinking, "Why in the world would they go to the hair-do school to get their toes done?!," but I will tell you they are cheap ($20 for a spa mani/pedi) and they do a pretty good job. There is no way in HELL I would ever let them touch my hair, but they can touch my feet all they want because I am not gonna do it! We had a nice time and it was good to get out with the girls. Girl days are fun!!

After that, we went on a scavenger hunt for a pair of shoes that I so desperately needed (yeah right!) and Clarissa had. They were just too cute, so I decided I needed them also! We went to several shoe stores, but they were just nowhere to be found. I did end up finding them on the internet last night and ordered them. Whoo hoo! New shoes! Nothing makes a girl feel better than a new pair of shoes...I have literally more than 50 pairs. It's an addiction...shoes and handbags. I can't help myself!!

Yesterday I went to get a cute, sassy haircut. I don't know about you, but I absolutely HATE it when the girl fixes my hair. It always ends up looking like shit! I left there looking like a cotton ball head because my hair was sooooooo poofy! I knew I liked the cut, but I went directly to my straightener when I got home and fixed that mess right up! She CURLED my hair after I specifically mentioned that I wanted it straight. I don't even need a curling iron because my hair is naturally curly, so why would I want to do that to myself?! Oh well, I fixed it and it looks really cute today!

Today I went to a baby shower for another teacher friend at school. She is having a girl. This is literally about the 15th baby shower I have been to this year. EVERYBODY had a baby this year - but me. I don't even want a dog right now! Maybe when I'm 40 it will be time. I am way too selfish for that business. I have to save all my money for my shoes and handbags! lol

Anyway, the shower was nice and it was good to see some teachers that I hadn't seen all summer. We all got caught up on school news and talked it over and played games and ate cupcakes. Yes, I had a freakin' cupcake and if that bitch dietitician says ONE damn word about it or puts a star next to it on my paper I might just have to politely lean over the table and smack the shit outta her. I've been really good this week!!!! I don't want to hear about a damn cupcake! Shut up!!

Corey and I are getting ready to go out to eat with some friends who are about to move away. Hmmm, wonder what we did?! lol We are going to Kava's. It is supposed to be Carribbean food maybe? Anyway, I'm sure there's nothing there that I will put in my mouth. As you know, I do NOT eat ethnic food unless it's Mexican. Maybe they'll have some beans or fruit...I know they do have roasted chicken, and I might eat that as long as they haven't rubbed it with spices from the underbelly of a wild pig. I'll have to get back to you about that one...

My classroom

Alright folks. Here it is!